Okay, so I lied. I didn't really come up with ten thousand and one thoughts while watching the first episode of season four of American Horror Story. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.
10 Minutes Before-
Should I even watch? I mean, I got things to do.....
5 Minutes Before-
Damn, screw it. I'm going for it!
1 Minute Before-
Good thing I got things to do tonight because after this I'm not going to be able to sleep
*ghost emoji*
I better go pee now because once this starts I'm gonna be too scared to get up out of my seat
*peeing my pants emoji*
"Next: American Horror Story: Hotel" (in that dreadful AHS announcer voice)
Nopenopenopenopenope IM NOT READY. I'm gonna pee myself and cry, maybe both. Probably both.
Starts
It's the god damn voice. F***. God dammit. I hate the AHS voice....
"Rated M: Contains nudity".... hopefully that's where Evan (Peters) comes in ;) ;) ;)))) ))))))))))) )))))))) )))
Lol I say it doesn't look creepy, but just I wait...
Lol sisters you're in the wrong part of town
IT LOOKS LIKE GATSBY'S HOUSE
"It looks like a tomb" LOL sisters that's your sign to get out while you can.
WHERE'S GAGA? WHERE'S EVAN?
Sister, first rule, if you see something, you don't go after it.
DON'T OPEN THE THING YOU IDIOTS
How causal a live/dead person in the mattress...alright RyMurph(Ryan Murphy, the creator) I'll roll.
....iiiiii hate this title sequence music.....
RYMURPH I cannot read these commandments man, tone it down a bit man.
"I'm just as scare" L O l yEAH right Kathy Bates
WHERE'S EVAN
"This one we never rent out" oh god ooohhhhhGoOd.
....who was Wes (Bentley) in Freakshow?....
What the Fu**
MAX (Greenfield)!!! OHHH my god HES SUCH A DIVA
I cant take Max seriously lOLZ
LOL Max you don't have luggage?
Sarah (Paulson) is so versitile i love her.
I absolutely cannot take Max seriously oh my god haha
OH Max you DO have luggage, its called druggage (lol)
OHGOD...It begins
WHAT THE F IS HAPPENING
Why is room 64 so far up in the building? Why wouldnt room 64 be on the first floor? What kind of hotel is this?
DON'T PUT YOUR GUN AWAY YOU IDIOT
Wes man, why are your pupils so big?
.....its only been thirty minutes.......
AMERICAN CRIME STORY FEBRUARY !!!111!!!!11!!!
(Lady) GAGA YESS!!!
MATTT(Bomer)!!!
LOL YOU SNIFF THOSE LINES GAGA
POWER COUPLE ALERT!!
Who has a movie screening at a cemetary....
Welp,,,,this is the weirdest thing ever............
Lol at Gaga covering Matts junk with just her hand lol
I don't even want to know what they serve in catering at this hotel.....
The way they were force feeding them doesn't make sense...she needs to put it higher so the stuff will actually go all the way down the tube......
Sister, you can run faster than that. (unimpressed george)
WHERE IS EVAN
Wes is such a man *dreamy day dreams*
doNT geT ouT OF tHe- OH MY GOD
Seriously, ANOTHER commerical break...
MATT!!!!! no that's not matt. Is it? Wait, who's this guy? (at this point I was conversing with my roommate about the best season of AHS and missed everything)
Matt's so chic and I'm loving it
MATT LOOKS LIKE A STEP UP CHANNING TATUM WANNABE HAHAHHAA
WHERE IS EVAN RYAN MURPHY
How long has Liz Taylor been reading Ulysses?.....
YES RYMURPH 'HOTEL CALIFORNIA' !!!!
the music for this episode is perfect.
End Credits Rolling
alright I'm gonna ask one last time. Where is Evan Peters?
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